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About Varied / Student Dmitriy-san (Dima-kun) Zaretser27/Male/United States Recent Activity
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If you wish to - "pitch in" towards: canvas art-making endeavors, 1 method (in order to: do so), can be obtained through - the following, link:
P.S. "Easter egg": "Would you kindly?"

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Dmitriy-san (Dima-kun) Zaretser
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Contact info. (Temp.; mutable):

* Previous college attended ("a.k.a. guild" -- "M.M.O." parlance) = "T.A.I. of WI" (post-poned circa: Autumn 2015). Became a "Jr." (junior) & "auto"didact (pun intended), ever since then...(Or "senpai" to "kohai", if that's what "onna no hito" will...) P.S. < 35 = Jr.; > 35 = Sr. ("imo")
* (primary workload-related e-mail contact address)
* Current cell-phone # = (414) 204-9464 (P.S. Text/"S.M.S." only, if only due to - slight wariness of: unsummoned 3rd party eavesdropping, social reluctance & obsolete tech. hardware, combined...)
+ Germane "easter egg":…
* Town/village on - over-world mini-map: Milwaukee, WI (City, State; zip/area code = 53202)
* P.S. "P.M." (i.e., private message, to receive: current address of - residence)

(?) Congrats! New reputation title unlocked!
* Crafting profession = Jr. freelance 2D Concept artist/Illustrator ("pre-production pipeline" phase)
+ Creature happiness level: 6/10 (Optional side quest: boost creature's happiness level, to - the max. limit; unlocks: perfect ending cutscene, legendary "eye candy" loot, "savior" reputation title, new "pet" follower, etc.)
+ Current skill level: aspiring pro.
+ Primary quest objective: become a pro.
+ Trophies/medals/achievements (in "R.L.", not: "X.B.L."/"P.S.N."): if flattering, list posthumously. Otherwise, omit...

P.S. "R.I.A.S.E.C. Holland Code" = "A.I." (On a: germane note...)
"Collar" type (i.e., stereotypically worn: color scheme): no collar (1); gold collar (2); grey collar (3); pink collar (4); green collar (5) & blue-collar (6)... P.S. Ignoring the - remaining options...
P.S. Seeking a “flow”-inducing, pseudo 3D workflow position, “along these lines” (pun intended). Contact if: you manage to find a – “suitable” (pun intended) match. e.g.,

+ formal role position description:

& "tools of the trade", typically utilized:
Post-grad. hiring info. (Assumption: in prime):
Cost to purchase unit (hourly wage/annual salary):

Avg. wage per hr. = $24.09
x 8 hr. work day = $193, per day (rounded up)
Fact: takes me about 3.5 days, just to create - 1 semi-"polished", manually rendered, still image frame...
So, by that token:
193 x 3 = 579 + 96.5 = $675.50, per piece (reminder: client shall receive a final submission, once every - half week...)
675.50 x 2 = $1,351 (per week) x 4 weeks (or: per month) = $5,404 x 12 months (or: per year) = approximately 64.8k (caveat -- optimistic result, assuming: sans tips; consistent "flow"; excluding taxes, & other modern day, living expenditures)

But since people seldom work on Sundays: 193 x 4 x 12 = 9,264
64,848 - 9,264 = $55,584 (so, this result would be closer to: the true annual salary)

Caveat/disclaimer: not in terms of - "gil", "rupees", "haku" (i.e., luminous soul orbs), etc.

P.S. Please "P.M." me, if you decide to: raise any objections (and thus, want to: haggle). Plus, there could be a bevy of other major/minor factors, that could cause price to fluctuate (but for the sake of simplicity, we are going to: presently ignore them)...

* +"Behance" public profile (designer emphasized worker community 'site):

* +"Creativebug" profile (ostensibly, designed principally for: e-tutoring):

* +Another pro. community, chock-full to the brim with: designers (of all: ilk):

* +Craft shop:

* +Facebook profile (public social networking):

* +1 place to setup - contracts/commissions:

* "Flickr" image uploads, accessible via:

* +foursquare (incentives to - venture around):

* +Various image hosting websites (e.g., "Cloudinary"; "Imageshack"; "imgur"; "tinypic"; "imgbb"... Omitted because of: redundancy.)

* +"Kick-starter" (i.e., Crowd-sourcing campaign) profile, accessible via:

* +"Kuler" (Adobe color templates; custom or default):

* +"E-commerce" (social networking link):
+ 1st journal entry (hiring solicitation):…

* +P.S. Patreon. This website allows 1 to: pledge fiscal support, after approving of - the work ethic or contributions, adorned on user - profiles:

* +Interests ("in a nutshell") revealed:
D.Z.'s Pinterest

* +"pond5" submissions, accessible via:

* +"Stumbleupon" (interest searching) user profile:

* Twitch "web streaming hyperlink/U.R.L.":
P.S. Up to 7 personAL "gAMer tags" shOuld be - visible on tHere (thOugh, neArly half are: more recent... Also, not as active while: college is - in session)... X-mas!

* +Twitter handle:

Auto-biographical tidbits:

* Character info. (Biography): n/a (too convoluted)... Must 1st agree to sign a "N.D.A." (i.e., Non-disclosure agreement). + It is: above top secret (i.e., Highly classified intel.)! Thus, you must provide: proper security clearance, if you want to be granted - wholesale access (failure to do so, will automatically trigger the: cheap car/fire alarm; Indiana Jones flavored "booby" traps; Portal's automated defense turrets; Resident Evil style lasers; ravenous Austin Powers sharks; on-site, on-duty sentry patrols; Mr. Burn's eager hounds/trap-doors; M.I.T. alumni quad-copters (newly outfitted); rigged medieval castle entrances, etc. within 60 secs., or after - 2 failed input attempts, via: password input & - bio-metric scanning)...
Extra "glyphs":

Self-referential parody (-50 “d.k.p.” for skipping over other sections, just to read this 1):
• "L.F.G." (i.e., looking for group) search: 1 "party" (oh, the irony) member discovered. Status set to: important business only. “P1” (player 1) character name: "dandere" Dmitriy-"san" (“Dima-kun") A. Zaretser (a.k.a. “DAZzle”-"desu")
• Class: Bard ("de-buff" applied: silence)
• Cost to summon human bard: eon of wait time ("H.o.T." -- heal-over-time; "regen." rate), loyal support group (acutely aware of: "Maslow's hierarchy of needs") & - prudent manipulation of: periodic table of elements (can potentially de-spawn if: such favorable conditions are - not met)
• Dual-class option: locked (does not meet: sufficient lvl./level req./requirements)
• Rarity: rare
Attributes (point allocation):

• "Aggro" radius distance (static): "n/a"; ignores petty trivialities
• Awareness (perception): 15/18
+ Approximate frame-rate detection: 150 "f.p.s." (i.e., frames-per-second). Peripheral vision degree range: roughly 170 (caveat: normal average). Also, hindered by: "myopia" (i.e., near sightedness).
+ Eye color: mixed (e.g., green, yellow, hazel...)
+ Hand-eye coordination: reasonably well-honed through trial & error, but not totally impervious to - "rust" after ceasing
+ Hearing sensitivity level range (in "Hz"/hertz): not tested. Assumed to be: better than average. Will possibly diminish with: increased age.
+ Sense of smell: weakest sense, of the 5 (for: humans)
+ Taste buds: delicate (can be a: picky eater)

• Charisma (social charm): 6/18
+ Skin pigment color: pale complexion
+ Social bond link rank: level 1+/100% (title unlocked: "Dandere")

• Constitution/Endurance/Vitality: 12/18
+ Blood (hemoglobin & plasma) letter type: ? Info. "n/a" (identified, but not: announced)
+ Blood pressure: latest check... 124 over 80 when health was - sub-optimal
+ "B.M.I." (i.e., body-mass index): at least 18.5 (can decrease by: dieting, or - increase with: reduced metabolism)
+ Glycemic index: variable (100 standard)
+ Pulse reading: at least 75 "B.P.M." (i.e., beats-per-minute) approximately (checked near prime, while idle). Varies depending on factors, including: age, health, exertion, etc.
+ Feet size: 13
+ Nominal head on body temperature: 98.6 "F"/Fahrenheit (or: 37 "C"/Celsius)
+ Default stance: defense ("tanking"), support (healing) & "c.c." (i.e., crowd control)
+ Waist size: around 32 around
+ Weight: 140-162+ "lbs." ("i.e.," pounds) -- caveat: before metabolism diminishes. Warning: carrying capacity cannot meet or exceed this amount; must be under. (But the # of pocket slots, is not affected.) Penalty for going over: movement slowed ("a.k.a." encumbered) or - body collapses...

• Defense (fortitude; "PvE"): 15/18
+ Default difficulty setting: "Nanny state" mode activated
+ Kindness (compassion): 9-18
• Defense (resilience; "PvP"): 12/18
• Defense (resistance against: status afflictions e.g., poison, curse, disease...): 15/18

• Dexterity/Stamina/Evasion/Dodge/Agility/Expression: 12/18
+ "A.P." (i.e., attack power): pacifist mode, currently enabled (taps "escape" while playing: a Squaresoft/Square-Enix videogame)
+ Crit. (critical) strike chance: 0% (pacifist mode, currently enabled)
+ Focus gauge & energy pool: attentive, except for: 6-8 hours ("circadian rhythm" must: daily reset)

• Intellect/Knowledge: 12/18
+ Ingenuity with "machina": 9/18

*Casts summon "pet" companion spell*
*Menu cycles between: 12 possible options*
*Chie gets selected, and spawns*
Chie Satonaka: "'CHINko' up (pun intended)! It's time for more private (pun intended) lessons, so you can be better at: drawing anatomy." (^.~) *shows off slot for: "armor pen." (penetration)* *after going on our "honey-moon", "1up" icons, start to: vertically scroll*

Kintaro Oe: "That's right -- study, study, study!" :D

• Luck: 3/18
+ Ethnicity (cultural heritage): Belarusian
+ Hair color: brown-ish
+ Racial trait "buff": improved natural etiquette
+ Racial trait "de-buff": slightly reduced joint flexibility

• "Str." (Strength) or Might: 9/18
+ Height: approx. 5' (ft.), 7" (in.)
+ Parry & block rating: 0-50% (range; min.-max.) Contingent on: white blood cell count (lame joke, but -- I tried)...

• Willpower (resolve): 18/18
+ Courage: 3/18 ("min."/minimum; while a victim of: "curse de-buff"); 6/18 ("avg."/average; effects wore off); 9/18 ("max."/maximum; while receiving a: "aura buff"). Might hinge on: cortisol levels.
+ Diligence: 12/18

• Wisdom/Understanding/Spirit/Psyche: 18/18

• Chest armor piece: ironic sub-culture t-shirt +1
+ Warning: must vary according to season, "undergo routine maintenance" (pun intended), etc.

• “A.C.” (armor class) & “THAC0”: 10+1=11

• Dexterity bonus (through weight reduction): 6

• Head slot: winter beanie +2; soft hood +3; bandana +8; baseball cap +6

• Equipped shield: Earth’s magnetic field (o-zone layer)

• A.I. (i.e., artificial intelligence) combat style (default script): flee and seek out – righteous protection

• “Missile” (i.e., projectile) trajectory adjustment: Halo’s aim assist (toggled on, by default)
• Accuracy/hit rating: >85%

• Current level = same as age
• Double helix strand "D.o.T." (damage-over-time) round time limit & - current max. (maximum) “H.P.” (i.e., health "pool"/hit points): 76-122+ (latter outcome allowed, after either: purchasing an expansion pack, or - inputting the following button presses: "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.") Secondary mission objective: extend longevity comparable to - Taoist alchemy sages.
+ "Easter egg" reference - "liknelse: mikrovågsugn katt"?

• Class hit points gained, per “lvl.” (level): increment by 5, up to age 35, then, start to - decrease by 5, every level gained, thereafter

• Ability bonus H.P. per level: please consult a – medical practitioner

• Race: contemporary human

• “Alignment” (“moral compass”) & - "psyche meter" ("M.G.S.4 ref."): "F.N." (pun intended) Chaotic Neutral

+ 5.1 Dolby Digital surround sound test (Japanese version only) - "Hold A and B while pressing START." (P.S. Contra cheat code) *afterwards, cues playing: "Radiohead - OK Computer"*
+ Controller scheme input: "ATP" (i.e., "adenosine triphosphate"), haptic feedback (vibration/rumble) & -- "I.K."/"F.K." (i.e., inverse & forward kinematics), advanced "Havok rag-doll" physics "engine", etc.
+ "e.g.", (for example) the character "Mugen" of: "Samurai Champloo" fame. He utters, "Yo no quiero gobernar, ni ser gobernado." (Para-fraseado, no verbatim...) [sic]
+ "R.L." (i.e., real life) graphical quality settings, set to: "ultra" (maxed out); "Planck" length sub-atomic string particles

Joker: "We have a visual!" (Pun intended...)

• Gender: “M” (male; "XY")
+ Crude "ASCII" art (if only for diffusing tension through: "lulz"): ( )======= D{<~-.,_,{-C / ) l )\

• Str. (Strength) mod. (Modification): +1 (esp. if “P.E.” or physical education class, is not – voluntarily skipped)

• Main proficiency, side proficiencies: visual art (about: three-quarters of – max. capacity)

• Inventory > loot > equipment > accessory (nearly encumbered; limited capacity): left “M.H.” (i.e., main hand) “weapon” = Wacom stylus +1 x1 (limited durability; 3/4ths proficiency)
+ Durability overall: 95-100%

• Inventory > loot > equipment > accessory (nearly encumbered; limited capacity): “O.H.” (i.e., off-hand item) = Wacom tablet x1, scroll wheel, buttons & wireless battery adapter +1 x1
+ Durability overall: 95-100%

• “D.P.S.” (i.e., damage-per-second) inflicted: 2d12+2

• Ability bonuses: attributes temporarily "buffed", after consuming a consumable item (e.g., Starbucks coffee)

• Str. (Strength) bonus (esp./especially from: wielding & unsheathing - “tools of the trade”): +1

• # (number) of attacks: up to 4 rapid hand movements are permitted, per sec. (Second)

• Current lvl. (level): == (equivalent) to 12 or > (greater)

• X.P. (Experience points), hitherto accumulated: “Over 9,000!”

• To reach next lvl. (level): double 9k by 2 (para-phrased: multiply x2), per level

• "Buffs" applied: error… Target (P1) is not actually into fitness

• Lore: aficionado

• Reputation: varies depending on faction user makes contact with. Moreover, rumors of past exploits, have yet to spread widely.

• Turn undead lvl. (level): inferior compared to - Jesus of Nazareth
• Bonus ability: nearly indiscriminate "saving throws" (considered "O.P."/"imba", because of: unlimited use)
+ Satan remarks: "Nerf pl0x!1oneeleven"
• Lay on Hands amount: Over 9,000! (old "D.B.Z." meme)

• Status afflictions, prevented or cured with: correct vaccine with the correct dosage, can boost – immune resistance

• Elemental resistance, boosted by: wearing proper attire, for the season

• Easily “charmed”, by the following “spell”:…

• “Enchantments” applied: only active when in close proximity to -…
+ Gem sockets: only "family jewels" to - socket. *Ba-dum-pish* Though ruby colored ones that let you teleport to a destination, could "come in handy" (pun intended). Additional stat. boost: +9 "Cha." (i.e., charisma)

• “Form stage evolutions”, dependent on: cellular config. (Configuration)

• “Alt.” (i.e., Alternate) back-up “weapon”: “port” compatible peripherals, Utrecht art supplies, etc.

• Resilience stat (statistic): increment by 5 per lvl. (level), up to age 37.5, then, start to gradually decrease by 5, for every level gained, thereafter

“A.C.” (armor class) modifiers:
• Crushing: -9
• Missile: -9
• Slashing: -9

Ability bonuses:
• To hit: +6
• Damage received/inflicted: -666; .666
• “Open doors”: best when metaphorically pertaining to – opportunities to seize
• Max. (Maximum) carrying capacity, before encumbrance happens: 145 lbs. (pounds) ll (or) < (less)

• “A.C.” (armor class) bonus: varies depending on whether light (cloth), medium (leather) or heavy (chain-mail & plate) is worn. Light (cloth) confers a +1-3 bonus; medium (leather) confers a +4-6 bonus, and heavy (chain-mail & plate) confers a - +7-9 bonus

• “A.C.” (armor class) bonus (light & medium attire worn): 1 (min./minimum) – (to) 6 (max./maximum). Such was the range, specified earlier.

• “Missile” (projectile) trajectory adjustment: -777

• Reaction adjustment: 80,085

• Reaction: 80,085

Elemental resistances:
• Fire: -666 penalty incurred, if within close proximity to -…
• “Base” magic (“M.P.”/mana pool): Over 9,000!
• Magic fire: -666 penalty incurred, if within close proximity to -…
• Weapon style bonuses: calibrated surface/monitor, enabled pressure sensitivity, scroll wheel & buttons that can be – custom re-mapped - +4-7 (caveat: range)
• Overall rank: "B-S"? (pun intended)

P.S. Rated "N.R." for: nerd rage?

Console has detected: 99 empty memory card slots (byte size "T.B.D."; "T.B.A.").
"C.P.U." (central processing unit) "Q." #1: "Save current file progress?" Yes/No
"A": *"P1" (player 1) selects "No"*
C.P.U. Q. #2: "After beating end-game content, resume 'NG+' (i.e., New Game Plus) mode?"
A: *"P1"* (player 1) selects option "No"*

As a result: granted 1 life for - a single play-through session (activate "permadeath"?). Emphasis on: seeking out collectibles, appeasing varied "N.P.C." (i.e., non-playable character) requests, etc. Additionally, all chapters with "red tape" will be: automatically skipped or disabled, from now on. If subject is accidentally re-incarnated, a "Men in Black" memory wipe happens ("tabula rasa"), followed by: voluntary penance & - a subsequent bout of amnesia* (A notorious "J.R.P.G." cliche...)


  • Listening to: "Streaming Udemy" tutorial clips
  • Reading: Same content as uploaded
  • Watching: Apple iMac monitor
  • Playing: I sure as h*ll wish
  • Eating: T.B.D. about: 5 1/2 hours from now
  • Drinking: T.B.D. about: 5 1/2 hours from now

Radio codec goes: *breep breep*

"W.o.W." (i.e., World of Warcraft) "N.P.C." quest-giver (i.e., non-playable character): *after: answering the - radio codec* "!"

Blizzard dev.: "Kek..." (i.e., Horde orc laugh)

Ludwig Wittgenstein: "If a lion could speak, would we be able to understand it?"

James Joyce, after writing - Finnegan's Wake: "No one understands me..." *sniff* *sob* "Well, except for: this handy-dandy universal alien language converter!" *extends fore-arm & flashes it with pride*

Haruhi Suzumiya: "I'll let you borrow that trinket for a week, but if you don't return it on time, that'll be the last novel you'll ever write." *does a James Bond pose*

John Woo: "I've been successfully wooed..." *puts top wrist on "temple" (pun intended) & - faints backward*

Cool Hand Luke protagonist: "If you take these lame dad jokes any further, I'm going to have to quit."

Mario (while imitating a - '90s T.V. commercial announcer): "When others ask you to take "skooma", what do you say to them?"

Toad: "Split it in half & - puff the magic Alduin?"

Psyduck on skooma: "Psy-yi-yi?"

"The End"'s parrot (i.e., M.G.S.3. sniper) exclaims (while inadvertently watching the movie Grandma's Boy, airing on - Spike/G4 T.V. channels): "Grandma! Grandma!" *squuuawwkk*...

Former Konami editor (now retired): "I could've swore the parrot uttered grandpa, not grandma, in the original."

Cool Hand Luke protagonist: "Better to live on one's feet, than die on one's knees!" *commits seppuku*

Necromancer: "Rise my minion! Rise & f*ght once more..."


Cool Hand Luke protagonist (resurrected zombie): "What is your wish, sire?"


Jinn/genie: "You're asking the wrong mythological entity, 'baka'!"


Necromancer: "Well, now that you've asked, I wish to multiply the wishes already available, & fulfill impossible ones ‘A.S.A.P.’”

Holy trinity: "Thy will be done." *purchases: Sony Praystation 3* (pun intended)

George Foreman (staring at: a Southern belle turned - opera singer): "Nice to 'meat' you..."

Professor Farnsworth: "Good news, everyone!"

Maury (resumes where: Professor Farnsworth left off): "The paternity test results are in. The lie detector has determined: you *censored by: Skeptic magazine* the Father."

Ned Flanders, Rod & Todd: "Yay!!!"

Aleister Crowley (while traveling to South America, & back again): "You sure about that? The others were... Far more hesitant." *grins from ear to ear, while being illuminated from a flashlight, below*

Holy trinity: "On 2nd thought, I made an exception for you -- so, nevermind... Consider yourself black-listed, by the: almighty ban-hammer. Otherwise, thy will be done."

Little sister (from: Bioshock): "No! No, no!" (Repeated...)

John Romero: "That penalty seems rather harsh... Can't we just force him to play through our games on - the hardest difficulty?" *imitates face of "Puss in Boots", from the movie: Shrek*

Steady influx of - pre-pubescent boys, placing pre-orders on - the next iteration of Diablo: "l-l3l_l_ Y34l-l!1oneeleven" (macro x10)

English/grammar teacher: "Please don't do that, children -- no one wants to waste time scrolling, just to discover - a missed line..." *throbbing temple, that looks like: #*

One Punch Man: "Ok."

Mobius strip: "...and so children, the joke proceeds ad infinitum."

Shirley Temple: "Booooooring! Cut to the chase! I want a pony!"


Knight in shining armor: "You'll have to joust me for it, lass."


Shirley Temple: "Or... I could compose lyrics for you, so that: you'd have a better chance of - making fine ladies swoon."


An isolated lady: "I'm afraid it's too late, dear -- Judas & his plethora of spawn, have already reduced us to: mere chattel…"


Judas (while watching: Jack do squats): "Look, missie -- you have it all wrong; they voluntarily signed up! I didn't force them to do jack squat... Harumph!" *flares nostrils, sucks in stomach, turns head sideways & - crosses arms folded*

Scrooge McDuck: "But GOLLY -- they sure put the 'venture' in: venture capital!"


Time traveling Walt Disney: "Hey, this abominable draft has some merit, but it won't work for a final."

Writer: "Until you give me a raise, you won't see any more revisions, bub."


Time traveling Walt Disney: "Money doesn't grow on trees, 'baka'!" *commits seppuku*


Hades: "To fish in the River Styx, I first need to call - the Ghostbusters."

Ghostbusters: "Erm, sorry… We were too busy vacuuming the carpet. Less stress."


Souls of the d*mn*d: "I sure hope this river takes us to the Promised Land, eventually..."

Ziltoid (Devin Townsend reference): "I like souls how I like my coffee -- BLACK..."

Hades: "Actually, no. It's headed over to where they're filming a Jaws sequel, I regret to report."

Stray soul of the d*mn*d: *shouting with arms recklessly & frantically flailing, with virtually (pun intended) no control over - river direction flow* -high pitch actor utters- "Uso!!!" *splashing, gurgling & gasping for breath, while - jaw & elbow is: partly submerged underwater* "Tasukete kudasai!!!"

D*ffman (Simpsons cameo): "He almost 'nailed' my line, as much as he - nailed that coffin (pun intended)."

Souls of the d*mn*d (caveat: vocal majority): "Cool! We've always wanted to be barely perceived, dimly lit background extras!"

Newspaper boy: "Hey, that's my line! Albeit halved..." *horn sound: wah-wah-wah*

Groggy elder: "You're running late again, boy! I'm going to deduct that from your pay-check."


Grim Reaper: "I've arrived late again, but if you give me that check, I'll post-pone your inevitable stay... At the grave."


Skyrim guard: "Bribery? Not on my 'watch'!"

Bethesda dev. community members: "So, what are your impressions of this alpha build, minimum wage Q.A. bug tester?"

Tony the Tiger: "GRrEAT!!! You guys (& to a lesser extent: gals) are yourself alphas!"

Bethesda dev. community members: "Um... Care to be: more specific?"

Tony the Tiger: "Well, I liked the fact that: you could - maximize acrobatics to 100, & thereby beat Tigger from: Winnie the Pooh, in terms of - springing..."

Meanwhile, a random New Yauheukueh... I mean, Yorker, says: "Can't afford 'em blasted Rolex watches, for the life of me..."


Ziltoid's alien ship interceptor: *fires laser beam, at specified jewelry store*

*After that event occurs, the camera switches to: a 3rd person, over-the-shoulder view. It shows a recording of "Asari" justiciar Samara, watching (& - to a lesser extent: reacting) to - a Youtube clip of: Phoenix Wright - "Schadenfreude" (caveat: musical parody)*

Cool Hand Luke (resurrected zombie): "What we have here fellas, is a failure to communicate."

Rube Goldberg: *appears to be busy playing - Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories* "By the way, I know it's not what Judas's chattel originally majored in (assuming they bothered picking a major, to begin with), but... They may eventually end up having to re-take my class, anyway."

*Skips ahead to the end of the movie entitled: "Full Metal Jacket". Overhears line formations of soldiers, chanting in unison, "M-I-C, K-E-Y, da-da-da-duh-da"*

*Meanwhile, a "N.E.E.T." conspiracy theorist listens to the band Tool, & hears the lyrics go: "I know the pieces fit..."*

*Shortly after, the band gets bought out & sponsored by: Progressive insurance*

*Meanwhile, "Sunny Emmerich" (from: "M.G.S.4") is busy playing a Sonic videogame, on the "P.S.P." (i.e., Playstation portable) -- i.e., a last-gen. handheld (caveat -- through an: emulated "ROM")*

Sunny E. hears Dr. Robotnik ("a.k.a. Eggman") say (while making an omelet, through: the stereo speakers): "The plot (pun intended) thickens..."

Random Chinese "D.J." (i.e., disc jockey): *appears to be busy listening to - A Perfect Circle* "Don't resist it mang [sic] -- just go with the flow!"

Shirley Temple: "But we don't wanna [sic]! Waaah!!! This is why Nietzsche went mad!"

Sheogorath (making a - sudden flanking appearance): "I will assume partial responsibility for that, since it wasn't too long ago, that I: invited him to - join a tea party (disambiguation: not the political kind, either!)."

Friedrich Nietzsche (after reminiscing, Sheogorath decides to: cast a priestly spell): "Kanpai!" *clink* *gulp gulp* *resumes conceiving remarks in the current century, if only to inspire making - a Xenosaga sequel* *meanwhile, thousands nerdgasm, after being teased by: a cryptic short duration teaser, that reveals: practically next to nothing*

Ancient Vedic sage, dwelling near: a forest river shore, attempts to - use clairvoyance, in order to: peer into the future. Ends up: pre-maturely witnessing - a Persona 5 teaser, & exclaims, "Thou art I, I art thou..."

*switches to: clip of - Harry chasing: a golden "snitch" (pun intended)*

X-Files motto: "The truth is out there..." *cue a bunch of: briefly spinning - Triforce symbols*

Godel, Heisenberg & Socrates, "No it isn't... Plus, we can't handle the truth!"

Colonel Volgin: "To be mad during March... You have some balls; reminds me of: Raikov." *grabs 2 glued Jigglypuffs (pun intended) together & - proceeds to: bounce them... When they rise back up, they furiously scribble on his face with: permanent marker*

Colonel Volgin: "Argh! They hit my weak spot!" *slouches & conceals face out of: sheer embarrassment*

Bob Ross: "No, no... You're doing it all wrong, Jigglypuff! Follow my instructions more closely, next time."

*commence rapid & fierce, consecutive blind-folded slapping, followed up by: gradually accumulating dust clouds & myriad expletives, censored with - various symbol marks*

Rube Goldberg: *pair of eyes X-ed out, with dizziness vaguely implied, by the presence of: yellow stars, blue birds, etc. asymmetrically spinning & hovering along - an elliptical path* "'Fml'... Guess it's time to head over to 'C.E.R.N.', if only to learn more about: fixing past errors, through means of - haphazard time travel."

Rintaro Okabe/Rintaro Okabe/岡部 倫太郎/Okabe Rintarō/"Okarin": "Son of a b*tch... And here I thought we had already reached a satisfying foregone conclusion, but it looks like - I'm now going to have to prepare for: another lauded season..." *winks & strokes 1 side of scalp* Plethora of fans: "Yippie!"

*While exploring the base therein, "Okarin" encounters a journal, inscribed with a quote* "Logic will get you from point A to point B, whereas imagination will take you from point A to point Z." - Albert Einstein

"T.N.M.T." munching on - Domino's Pizza: *nom nom*... "Is that so?" *as crumbs fall off: moist lips*

Hypnotized girl working @ planetarium (early South Park "ref."): "I love my work." (Mindlessly repeated...)

Myself ("Dima"): "F*ck... Another ambiguity filled cliffhanger? I swear, that's the last straw!" *commits seppuku*

Abraham Maslow: -1st "cam. shot"- (while: zoomed out) *sprinting diagonally in "slow-mo.", with left fore-arm extended. -2nd "cam. shot"- (while: zoomed in) *Mouth cheeks flap like waves, while swaying off center* "NoOoOO!" *simultaneously coupled with: over-dramatic music* -resumes normal or accelerated play-back- *orders a plane ticket, & flies over to C.E.R.N.*

*Meanwhile, everyone else who is not as keen as Abraham Maslow, get their flights either: canceled or delayed... Cue mass catatonic dejection* (remember to apply: ink dripping monotone filter)

*Afterwards, I meet up with "Anubis" (i.e., an Egyptian deity), sometime in the afterlife. His primary role is to: weigh mortal hearts on a tipping or balanced scale, in order to - judge their accumulated levels of: virtue or vice. "Hrm... I see." *he grimaces & pretends to: commit seppuku* "'j/k'... The Pure Land is over that way, bro." *points to mentioned location, then proceeds to get smited by lightning*

Grim Reaper: "G*dd*mn*t... What am I supposed to do with all these piled up corpses? 'Bakas', the lot of them!" *commits seppuku*

Glenn Quagmire: "I can't fap to this tripe!" *commits seppuku*

Roger Rabbit: "I can't hop, tHUMP & multiply to this tripe!" *commits seppuku*

Kool-Aid Man *extended, low-pitch voice*: "Ohhhh yeahhhhhh..."

Retro Luigi from Mario Paint, addressing - Kool-Aid Man: "Hey! That's supposed to be my line... Except an A is missing, because: that's clearly what you deserve, for bringing - your A-game (pun intended)..."

"V.R." drill sergeant: "Hold the line!"

Mickey Mouse, painter edition: "We're doing our best, sarge!!! But we're running out of supplies..."

"V.R." drill sergeant: "Call in a care package, pronto!"

Anthropomorphic "kuma" (bear): "Did someone beckon?"

"V.R." drill sergeant: "This isn't the '90s! Go back where you came from, fiend!"

"Asari" justiciar Samara: "Until you guys get your priorities straight, you'll have no further dealings with me. *lets out a: haughty "hmph"* "I would call in an exorcist, but in the future, there are none; they've all been replaced."

Kool-Aid Man: "Drat... If only I hadn't grown up on: the wrong side of the tracks!" *sob* *commits seppuku*

D*ck Tracy (while venturing to: D*ck's sporting goods, wearing a - thin D*ck**s coat & reading a book entitled: Moby D*ck): it's getting "hard to take" (pun intended) this much innuendo. No need to: "drill" it in. *commits seppuku*

Rod, Todd & Ned Flanders (while calling remotely, to order: Jimmy John's): "Serves you right (pun intended)!"

G*d: "'Baka'... Perhaps I should've used an 8th day, if only to create more: forensic scientists?" *tries to commit seppuku, but for reasons pertaining to a trio of attributes, it doesn't seem to work*

*Insert obligatory Titanic "fail-boat" meme*

Céline Dion (while watching these mock Power-Point slides at: an anniversary party): "Wait, this isn't how the plot of Titanic panned out!" *hurries to pack away the rest of her crammed luggage, & - heads over to C.E.R.N.*

Spirit me (spirit "Dima") *while navigating through: a lower hull chamber*: "Wow, I can't latch onto this easel in spirit form... But, at least I no longer have to nearly succumb to: Wisconsin elements, & can freely levitate - across the border! *proceeds to notice a barely clad throng "throwing" a party across state-lines, then suddenly decides to:retreat* "Nevermind... As ironic as it sounds, the state turned a gamer into - an 'early adopter'." *ba-dum-pish*! (cue drum pounding & rattle)

*curtain "draws" (pun intended) to a close*

*cue Looney Tunes -- I mean, Toons*

*credits roll with virtually (pun intended) everyone involved in the project, deciding to: conceal their names with - phony aliases*

*Slow, soft seated golf clap -- gradually increasing, until it finally becomes turned into: a vastly over-blown, red mark leaving, standing ovation*

Riddler (from: Batman): "What sounds like 'our son', & has much to do with - primitive man? 'Cause, that might be the final fate of this script."

Abraham Maslow: -1st "cam. shot"- (while: zoomed out) *sprinting diagonally in "slow-mo.", with left fore-arm extended. -2nd "cam. shot"- (while: zoomed in) *Mouth cheeks flap like waves, while swaying off center* "NoOoOO!" *simultaneously coupled with: over-dramatic music* -resumes normal or accelerated play-back- *orders a plane ticket, & flies over to C.E.R.N.*

Riddler (from: Batman): "Next time, you won't be so lucky... Punk."

Spirit me (spirit "Dima"): "There won't be a next time, seeing as to how I can't stand writing."

William Shakespeare: "Of course the paper sheet can't defy the pull of gravity, 'baka'."

Cool Hand Luke (resurrected zombie redux): "What we have here fellas, is a failure to communicate."

Rorschach: "Meaningless... Everything is meaningless. All is vanity."

Princess Zelda: <3<3<3 (bare minimum heart containers)

"Robin" Williams (while posting on Twitter; addressing: Holy Trinity), "If what your verses say is true, then I must immediately dress up as: Mrs. Doubt Fire..."

1 Corinthians 10:13

*"E.S.R.B." begins to: re-assess - the "Kingdom Hearts" (pun intended) rating*

*cue Looney Tunes -- I mean, Toons*

*switches channel & - starts "surfing" T.V. Finding Dory credits roll*

"Fin" (pun intended)...

*all along, the preceding lines have been revealed to be: an in-depth look at - a "Psychonauts" sequel*

"Kept you waitin', huh?" - Psycho Mantis

*player switches dualshock controller from: port 1 to - port 2*

*Psycho Mantis waves white flag*

Random farmer/gardener: "So, the plot thickens..."

Porky Pig: "That's all folks!" *gets mounted by either: Crash Bandicoot or - a "L.O.T.R." orc, who proceeds to exclaim, "We're off to see the wizard... Etc."*

Wizard: *loud nasal snorting* "Huh? Who goes there? Who dares disturb my slumber?"

Visitors: "If you were really busy sleeping, then why did it sound like lubricant was being applied, via - fierce & rapid strokes?"

Wizard: "It's a new aroma therapy to help with sleeping. Nothing more, nothing less. I can assure you."

Visitors: "If you're going to have that much fun alone in there, why not invite us next time? *nods & winks*"

Wizard: "Nothing will happen between us, unless you 1st allow me to - polymorph you into: a gravure idol, who goes by the fake moniker "Fook Mii" (pun intended). Problem is, I haven't yet figured out how to: mutter the incantation spell properly. Besides, too many 'muggles worship Andraste' in this land; so, our progeny would have to: needlessly struggle." *proceeds to - chant the "bear necessities tune from: The Jungle Book" (i.e., an older Disney movie)*

Anthropomorphic "kuma" (bear): "Are those 'sirens' of the Greek variety, or -- the mobile variety?" (Confused because: the age of consent can be lower in - certain prefectures of: Japan.)

Fledgling succubus from "Disgaea": "「オデュッセウスが十五年後に母国に戻らなければならないとしても、私は彼がたくさんの潤滑油(潤滑油)" [sic]
Above translation, rendered into English (verbatim): "Even if Odysseus should return to my home country after a quarter of a decade, I won't invite him to 'pop my cherry', unless he brings - plenty of lube (lubricant)..."

*A quarter of a decade has passed, after she made that initial statement. Odysseus returns with: a massive ship, hauling cargo. It indeed contains plenty of lube, but the ship itself is practically sinking from: sheer bulk weight. It capsizes before reaching the shore, but the requested items eventually drift to the shore, anyway*...

*A "roflcopter" suddenly whizzes by, over across the sky*

Fledgling succubus from "Disgaea": "ええと...私たちは何時ですか?" [sic]
Above translation, rendered into English (verbatim): "Ummm... What time period are we in, exactly?"

Visitors: *cough* *ahem* "Annnyway... Who said anything about - making babies?"

Wizard: "Sorry, you'll have to excuse me... I'm so used to dealing with: hypotheticals." *ba-dum-pish*

Animated silver-ware: "Be our guest, be our guest... Etc."

Reggie Fils-Aimé appears at: a demo show floor event, showcasing the latest Zelda's features. As he travels through a dungeon as Link, he meets up with: a treasure chest. Link opens the chest gradually, while wearing an excited clenched smile, anticipating the outcome (albeit at: an under jaw, three-quarter angle). He then suddenly heaves, to shove the lid upwards, while simultaneously being illuminated by: the radiant golden gleam inside. *Da-ra-ra-ra* x12. (Suspense building theme plays.) The camera then shifts to his back, pointing at: a diagonal aerial angle. After Link finishes frantically rummaging through the chest, he jerks around 180 degrees, rapidly... As his clenched smile turns into open awe, he reveals the item contained therein. It floats in mid-air, while slowly rotating, inexplicably (as if by means of: magic). Luckily for him, it turns out to be night-wear from: the famous "Adore Me" commercial! Hooray? P.S. When Link brings out this item, it charms all nearby imp-like foes into: a stunned daze (temporary effect). Moreover, if you bring it out consecutively, it causes them to faint. Caveat: foes with feminine qualities, can potentially: resist this effect...

Master "Roshi" (i.e., "dojo sensei" from: "hit" -- pun intended -- series: Dragon Ball): "'Eyyy shonny [sic]... How about we trade? 1 of my Dragon Balls (innuendo) in exchange for: those precious ("Gollum"/"Sméagol" reference) panties. I bet they'd look great on: Android 18!" *smooth jazz section, briefly blares*

Link: "Dumb*ss... Why don't you just gather all 7 & have your 'base' (pun intended) wish granted?" *sigh* "Fine..." *initiates trade*

Master "Roshi" (i.e., "dojo sensei" from: "hit" -- pun intended -- series: Dragon Ball): *clutches panties while: crossing arms folded; swerves vertical & static while - tippy-toed. Head tilts side-ways & up with: eyes closed, smiling* *sniffs fragrant aroma ("it is still: up in the air"? Pun intended...) twice* Afterwards, he exclaims, "Subarashii!" *then, rapidly "jerks" (pun intended) to: stuff panties into pocket with - 1 tongue turned side-ways, & 1 knee bent, sticking out*

Master "Roshi" (i.e., "dojo sensei" from: "hit" -- pun intended -- series: Dragon Ball): "Next time, bring us the girl & - wipe away (pun intended) the debt (Bioshock reference)!"

George Foreman: "Did someone want to: buy a grill, just now?"

Deaf tones... I mean, "Deftones" lead singer: "Get your hearing checked, man... You're acting more senile than: master Roshi!"

サイタマ/"Saitama" (i.e., central protagonist of: "hit" -- pun intended -- series entitled: "One Punch Man"): remarks, "OK... Ay jewelers."

"Poseidon" (i.e., Greek deity of - water): "You must be 'Meshuggah' if you don't - treat her 'djently' (pun intended)..."

Bruce Lee vouching for Poseidon's candid remark, faster than - the Pokemon "Meowth": "That's right!" *hu-taw!*

*Meanwhile, "
Michael, Franklin & Trevor" inspect - the site サイタマ/"Saitama" mentioned* (Their intent is questionable, at best.)

Michael: "Guys, if our members pull this 1 off (pun intended), my wife will get over the fact that - I have yet to find a suitable (pun intended) translator for: that unfinished 'Kama sutra' book... So, 'step up your game' (pun intended), fellas!"

Trevor: "How can you of all people, be so 'green' (pun intended)?"

Franklin: "I don't know, but it's makin' me jealous... Dat's why I signed up fo dis sh*t; sick & tired of dis - lame *ss tow job. From now on, mah name is: BENJAMIN Franklin. Get used to it, b*tch*s..." [sic]

*A "Hind D" helicopter whizzes "past" (pun intended), above* The inhabitants inside "Pequod" exclaim, "Rofl!" (Well, it would be, if only he were: bluffing.)

"M.G.S.1" "Deep Throat" (caveat: code name): (While glossing - pun intended - vertically over: a pin-up poster of - Phantom Pain's "Quiet" side-kick) "Hush... You'll 'blow' (pun intended) our cover!"

After watching: Vulcan Raven's tank pursue - Solid Snake (pun intended), Kirby unexpectedly remarks, "This blows (pun intended)..."

Random Youtube 'djentle-man' (pun intended): "Oh noes [sic]!!! Anything but...t [sic] that!!!"

Meryl Silverburgh (rare cameo from: M.G.S.1 & 4): "Let's not: 'bring that up' (pun intended) again..."

Austin Powers/"Mike" Myers: "I would've settled in Kyoto since: people know how to 'bee-have' (pun intended), but after 'Fook Mii' (pun intended) found out about - that 1 night stand in 'Bangkok' (pun intended), she keeps buying steel from: 'Daidara'!"

Phoenix Wright: "Why would a celeb like you: 'settle for less' (pun intended)?"

Sid Meier: "No wonder you can't 'settle' (pun intended) anywhere except: show biz [sic]; you can't put yourself in 'check' (despite having: plenty?)!"

Yukiko Amagi: "He could've avoided this dire situation, just by: being more 'reserved' (pun intended)." *Snrk!* Followed by: *prolonged giggle fit* (P.S. The way I imagine her doing this, is by: back hunched over, with - left fore-arm clutching her belly, while: her right hand palm lightly or moderately slaps - the top side of her knee-cap, repeatedly. P.S. Her head is allowed to: rotate side-ways, but it eventually - reverts back. Also, make her blink or squint occasionally, so that: the "uncanny valley" doesn't happen...)

"Fook Mii" (after: wiping Daidara's equipment clean): "Check-MATE (pun intended)..."

"Igor" from: "P4": "That's it... Our contract is: officially over." *tears apart sheet*

Reggie Fils-Aimé (while hiding in a bush & viewing from afar with: zoomed in binoculars): "My body would be ready, if only I had: joined the Navy."

*After running low on "air" time, Reggie Fils-Aimé decides to: switch cartridges*

Reggie Fils-Aimé (after "warming up" -- pun intended -- through: Milk the Cow on: Nintendo Switch): "My body is still ready."

"Deep Throat a.k.a. Gray Fox" from M.G.S.1, disguised in an "orly owl" costume (while perched on a tree branch, staring through the window, at both): "I don't give a 'flying hoot' (pun intended) how much you guys flap -- I mean, fap -- as long as you continue to: 'ruffle' -- I mean, 'rofl' -- my feathers!" XD

All the rest: "Well, in all fairness, we wouldn't fap so much, if only she did us the honor of becoming our - 'Parasite Eve'™."

*Meanwhile, "Eva from M.G.S.3" is remotely eavesdropping, through - sound amplification tech.*

Eva: "He gave me enough intel. I guess I should hold up my end of the bargain now..." *switches to: a smooth Jazz radio station on - her trusty motorcycle*

Brock (nodding while: taking notes, hunched over): "Uh-huh, uh-huh... Got it." *winks with: a gleaming smile, while giving - thumbs up*

To be continued? Yes/No

*player selects "No"*

*Game over. Press start to transition past the "splash screen", & enter back into: the main menu*

*player presses button to: power console down*

Grown up version of: "Sunny Emmerich" (from: "M.G.S.4"): "Time for dinner, hun! Go ahead & wash up! ^_^"

Me ("Dima"): "!" *accompanied by: "REE!" Sound effect*

Me ("Dima"): "Be right there, sweetie."

Directed in a haphazard, delirious rush by: Christopher Nolan Jr.

*Christopher Nolan Sr. wakes up* He remarks, "What a strange dream..."

*Christopher Nolan Sr. turns his head to the side, & notices: a top, spinning on - the table counter* "Please topple over..."

*As Christopher Nolan Sr. begins to strain his eyes, the camera draws closer to the spinning top, at an odd angle. Eventually, it loses balance, topples over, & slides while spinning. It follows a radial path that: lacks symmetry* "Whew, I am back in the real world." Christopher Nolan Sr. comments.

"But wait... Who or what caused the top to spin before I woke to see it?"

*Christopher Nolan Sr. notices a shadow looming over the table. He turns his head the other way, in order to: discern the figure*

Buddha or Plato (undecided): "Because of shows that claim to be real, it has become harder to distinguish what is real, from what is not...

Pablo Picasso: "Everything you can imagine is real."

"The job of the artist is: to deepen the mystery." - Francis Bacon

Dan Brown: "Drat, it's one of those off days, where I have: writers block..." *Bayonetta confidently struts in*

Bayonetta: "What's wrong baby? You look tense... Here, let me sooth your aching joints & muscles."

Dan Brown: "Finally -- came up with: a perfect ending!"

Bayonetta: "Press, tap & hold the right buttons at the right time, to trigger a - best ending 'Q.T.E.' (misconstrued: cutie?) cutscene. Don't be so eager to: skip past the - 'base' (pun intended) tutorial s*xtion... I mean, section." ;) *sly wink*

Peter Griffin staring at "Wii U" (pun intended) controller: "Except you... You can touch me."

Minimum wage fan fiction editor: "Or vice versa, you mean?"

Peter Griffin, staring at - an opera singer, from afar (while on: a balcony) *muffled voice*: "Can't touch this..."

Random avid sports fan: "No 'offense' (pun intended)..."

Dan Brown: "The spirit is willingbut the flesh is weak. Allow me to show you the true meaning of: umbra climax!"

Yosuke Hanamura: "D*mnit Ted... What did I tell you about: squeezing 'topsicles' at 'Junes', long (pun intended) before - buying & leaving?"

Ted "a.k.a." Teddie: "I don't know, 'Sensei'... Wait until: you're done aiming for #1 at - the cross-dressing beauty pageant, just so that: your hotness causes it to melt?"

Yosuke Hanamura: "'Eii, baka!'" *the duo starts lunchador (pun intended) wrestling in mud, if only to: defuse tensions*

Yosuke Hanamura: "By the way... Clean up on aisle 'si-si'-six (pun intended)!"

The only bilingual Spanish speaker waiting in - Okina city: "Si espera 9 años, la adulación le llevará lejos." ;)

Yosuke Hanamura: "Que? No habla espanol." =/

The only bilingual Spanish speaker waiting in - Okina city: "Por qué?"

Yosuke Hanamura: "We've got plenty of 'pork' at the Junes grocery store... That's what you're asking for, right?"

The only bilingual Spanish speaker waiting in - Okina city (ignoring Yosuke's remark while playing "Peace Walker" on - the Sony PSP. Then, she proceeds to imitate "Liquid Snake"): "¡Te envidié porque estaba atascado con todos los genes recesivos!"

Hakuin: "そうですか?"
Translation into English: "Is that so?"

Gandalf: "Alas..." *face-palm*

Yukiko Amagi stepping in at the wrong moment: "Pfft... *Snrk*... Epic fail!" (Fails to contain: sudden blurting of - hysterical giggle fits, while streaming: tears of joy.)

Meanwhile, elsewhere... *squeak squeak, squeak squeak*

Me ("Dima"): "What? It's just a mouse hunting cheese in a maze -- nothing more, nothing less... I can assure you! What were you thinking the squeaks referred to, reader? Lewd p*rv!!!"

Glenn Quagmire: "Tom & Jerry? More like: Peeping Tom & - Jerry Springer. Am I right, or am I right?" *bent, knee slapping, gut clenching cackle*

*Bayonetta slaps Glenn, in a manner similar to: how Batman once slapped Robin* (retro comic meme)

Bayonetta: *sigh* "Boys... How typical." *Hmph!* *Rotates head side-ways with eyes shut, with: arms folded or crossed* *Place camera under chin, to emphasize her: haughty indignation*

James Stewart (i.e., golden age Hollywood star of: "Rear Window"): "The former is more flattering than the latter, but not by - a long 'shot'." (Pun intended...)

*outdoor lawn crickets chirp, multiple times*

Minimum wage fan fiction editor: *facepalm* "This is getting awkward..." *quits and retires, shortly after*

Buddha or Plato (undecided) -- addressing Christopher Nolan Sr.: "Anyway, now that we're no longer interrupted... To atone for their deeds, you must create at least 1 documentary, before the end of your life-span."

Christopher Nolan Sr. (after watching a clip from: "Homestar Runner"): "私はあなたの挑戦を受け入れる! Watashi wa anata no chōsen o ukeireru! (Translation: 'I accept your challenge!')"

*Christopher Nolan Sr. takes a vacation to clear his mind, while trying to decide: what theme to - cover next*

Christopher Nolan Sr.: "I give up; documentaries tend to be: too depressing..." *commits seppuku*

G*d: "D*mn... What am I supposed to do with all these piled up corpses? I have enough 'friends in high places' (pun intended), as is - thanks to: arbitrarily forced conversions... While we're on the subject: does anyone else intend to - follow after: Lucifer's foot-steps? We're starting to: run out of space, up here..."

Nanako-chan: "If we entered through a T.V. from above, and there are no exits on the bottom, how are we supposed to get out?"

*Sonic the Hedgehog approaches & overhears Nanako*
*Sonic glances at "Teddie" (P4/Persona 4), then, back at Nanako*

Sonic the Hedgehog, while facing Nanako-chan: "Run." *adrenaline pumping music plays*

Teddie attempts to pursue both Sonic & Nanako-chan, but fails miserably, because of: his costume's sheer weight. *while staggering & crouching: gasp... Pant... Wheeze... "Hold up!" *cough & saliva sputters* "I can't keep up!!!"

Eventuallly, both Sonic & Nanako stumble across a treasure chest. After opening the chest, they discover an item: "Goho-M". (In case 1 is not aware, Goho-M allows 1 to: escape from dungeons!) Naturally, they use Goho-M & flee Teddie's presence.

...Meanwhile, elsewhere in heaven:

Georges Bataille: "I volunteer *plays Anathema: "back down to Earth"*, since I believe in 1 truth - that of: a *censored by - 'Big Brother'* contradiction."

Succubi from - Capcom, Sega, Nippon Ichi, etc. wearing - "S. & M." "B.S.D.M." (i.e., dominatrix) wear: "Do not worry, Georgie... We'll do our best to: make your stay in the lower rungs of H*ll, as 'hot' (pun intended) as possible!"

Post-pubescent teenage male high-schooler attending - sex ed. class: "Insert coin to insert joy-stick to - gain lives... Starting to see how this works. 'Domo'! (Thanks!)"

Georges Bataille: "w00t w00t!1oneeleven... That would be: a huge under-statement... You gals are: so sweat -- I mean, sweet!" *sniff* *horizontally wipes away a tear drop with: a single fore-finger* "Thank heavens!!! Thank G*d!"

G*d: "Now that's a contradiction, after all. Well, except for the fact that those nasty b*tches have no dearth of: sexually transmitted diseases. But, I won't tell him that until later; much, MUCH later... 'Kek' (Horde orc impersonation)." *rubs palms & taps fingers together in - a maniacal, conniving way*

Succubi (shouting collectively): "'Uso'!!! We're the esteemed masters of: suitor rejection. So, who wants: 1st dibbs?" *smooth jazz plays* ;)

*cue "massive line stretching for blocks" (pun intended); preparing for: launch day (pun intended)*

G*d: "...and that, my friends, is why Nintendo may stand for: 'leave luck to Heaven'?"

"E.S.R.B." reads low-brow drivel, if only to - determine rating: "'At least M', no doubt..." *crumples & tosses into - Alan Wake's log cabin fire-place*

G*d addressing Georges Bataille: "Are you sure you want to endure the same fate as that dreadful, obscene piece of paper?"

Georges Bataille: "What's inscribed on it? H*ll yes (pun intended)! But not what: it went through, at long last. That part sucked (pun intended)!" =/

*camera switches & pans to a chicken attempting to: cross the road* Chicken exclaims: "Can't we find a middle-ground, guys?" *borrows a C.E.R.N. time machine, to travel back to the year: 1950* It's not all 'black & white' (pun intended)!" *ba-dum-pish*...

*successfully scrolled to: the bottom of the page. Lore-master title unlocked! Bronze trophy unlocked!*

*inserts an obligatory meme pic. of: Jackie Chan wearing - a "wtf?!" Expression*

Jackie Chan (puzzled): "What is this? I don't even..."

*All along, it is revealed that the preceding lines were all part of Mario's (you know -- the Italian plumber) dream, after he was - "tripping" on: "shrooms"*

Luigi (Mario's brother): "Don't 'hog' it all to yourself!"

*Mistakes Toad's hat for a shroom, & nearly ignites him*

Toad: "Hey!!! Watch it!"

"Fin" (the end)...?

Daidara (from: "P4"): "For me? Well, unless it's about art, you ain't getting any answers."

Author's expression: *quivering lips* :C

Daidara (from: "P4"): "j/k" (just kidding)... "*'m f*rw*rd*ng th*s t* '*g*r*pt*r'. By th* w*y -- y** m*ght w*nt s*m* f*rg*d st**l, t*: w*rd *ff th* p*bl*sh*r's C*Nn*v*ng l*wy*rs. Fr** *f ch*rg*, *f c**rs*."

("Big Brother" censored adult content here, apparently?) #-_-'

Phoenix Wright: "Wii come in peace (pun intended)... If you agree to: marry my daughter, or - work for her company, there will be no copyright issues. Promise."

Me ("Dima"): "I agree to these terms, even though that content was: original, modified, etc."

Phoenix Wright: "But, it's not out-dated & - you forgot to: credit the author, so... The best solution would be: an arranged marriage."

Me ("Dima"): "Agreed (pun intended)..."

Author's expression: *HUR... HUMPH... RAH!* (Under arms struggle to lift: Daidara's handiwork; well indicated by: his bent, shaky knees; straining, thick recoiled neck; blinking, watery eyes; clenched, grimacing teeth (rattles); arched soles (slightly bent inwards); seemingly protruding rib cage; expanded pectorals (i.e., chest); risen, throbbing veins; tense calves, thighs, ankles & - lower back; biceps, triceps; ~45 degree jutting shoulder blades; expended pelvis (with: spine aligned backwards), etc.

Basically, the only time he appears "ripped", before: reverting back to normal!) "It's... Not a toy?" *faints as metal clangs on ground* *cue X-ed out eyes, side-ways drooping tongue & - birds rotating in a: wave-like pattern* *reel camera back (3/4ths view) to show: character lying flat on the ground, gaunt & scrawny looking. Extend all 4 limbs to sprawl (note - both palms are: facing downward) & - have steamy temperature, rising above his skin. P.S. You can make his hair, mud dripping boot soles (creates a: minor pool), unfurled shoe laces, tattered jeans, smeared/stained shirt (especially the: abdomen section), sweaty armpits seeping through, mildly pulsating fore-arms, etc. all serve to make him look "2rd world", but, he doesn't have to stay that way (twisted -- pun intended -- cartoon logic... Don't get it twister... I mean, twisted!)*

"M.G.S.3's The End" ("i.e., Cobra unit" boss): "Over my dead body!" *ba-dum-pish*

"M.G.S.3's The End" ("i.e., Cobra unit" boss): "Ha-rugh!!! Fox... Die..." *collapse, followed by: loud thud & - debris ripple effect*

A wandering "kitsune" (fox) discovers that: he was clutching an "ema" (i.e., a wish) after departing. As the kitsune scans the note text (front portrait, then: rear, three-quarter camera), a male narrator says: "Blind Snake while I turn the corner in a wheelchair. You'll understand why later."

*The kitsune nods, after: reading the ema* *The kitsune contacts a "C.E.R.N." time-traveling agent, & prevents: a pre-mature death from happening*

"Snake" impersonating "Okarin" (after being: temporarily, suddenly blinded): "Son of a b*tch..." *spits*

"M.G.S.3's The End" (while: slipping away; flashback sequence): "The End." *smirk & cackle*


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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner May 9, 2017  Student General Artist
マリー(from: "P4"): "どうやら、私の存在が揺れているときに私は去ることができない" *Pfft* それが意味することは何でも、私が外に出ることができるときには、(爆縮された)[sic]

*一口*辰巳漢字だけがチェックに入れられたら! その後、夜間の門限、これらの部分の周りにはあまり多くはありません... [sic]

Marī (furomu: "P4"): "Dōyara, watashi no sonzai ga yurete iru toki ni watashi wa saru koto ga dekinai." *Pfft* Sore ga imi suru koto wa nani demo, watashi ga soto ni deru koto ga dekiru tokiniha (bakushuku sa reta). [sic] *hitokuchi* Tatsumi Kanji dake ga chekku ni haire raretara! Sonogo, yakan no mongen, korera no bubun no mawari ni wa amari ōku wa arimasen... [sic]
Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited May 5, 2017  Student General Artist
Quite frankly -- I don't want to be around people whose club activity interests are not in harmony with mine, as that could create "pet peeve" friction (which would compromise happiness, & thus defeat: 1 major purported purpose in life)...
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2017  Student General Artist
"RL" 은 과대 평가 될 수 있습니다. 내가 사전 정의 된 용어를 찾으면 받아 들일 수없는, 다른 사람의 선입관을 기반으로하지 않을 것입니다... [sic]
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Jan 25, 2017  Student General Artist
P.S. While passive classes are in session, the sheer # (n; number) of uploads will decrease, as long as the classes themselves remain: barely relevant to - "the task at hand" (pun intended). That being said, I will keep making sporadic efforts to: build a network, in the meantime. Hope to see you included!
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Jun 30, 2016  Student General Artist
平均値のみの大学での経験場合は次のように正確でした [sic]:
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Mar 6, 2016  Student General Artist
Ich mag Liebesleben vorzustellen Entfaltung wie: Kult-Verschwörung (wenn überhaupt). Also, wer Freiwillige: legen Fallen, vor der Zeit? [sic]

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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Nov 19, 2015  Student General Artist
Frank admission/"guilty pleasure": hobby stores, are like a - veritable "Mecca", to me... #truefaqs
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2015  Student General Artist
"Przeciwieństwem odwagi w naszym społeczeństwie nie jest tchórzostwem, to zgodność."

- Rollo May (psycholog egzystencjalny)
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Oct 25, 2015  Student General Artist
Professional community member output examples (panels not: all-encompassing):

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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited Jul 22, 2015  Student General Artist

     Optional side comments: it took the intervention of - another sentient being, to revive my waning, curtailed interest in: speed-runs. This 1 is of - “Ori and the Blind Forest”, which is a: 2D side-scrolling platformer (featuring: collectible power-ups), where you play as an "avatar" akin to: an ivory lemur, navigating through a - treacherous forest (named: “Nibel”), by means of: gliding, remote swiping (thanks to a sidekick, named: “Sein”), spew flame attacks, perform wall runs, etc.

It is said to be sort of challenging, because it involves: a lot of - precise trial & error (plus, check-points have to be artificially created, with: the aid of - another player’s input… But, the resource supply to allow that option, is… Severely limited). Hearkens back to: Metroid/Castlevania style games (hence: “Metroid-vania”), brought to you by: “Moon Studios” (i.e., an indie team).

Plot summary: "Ori" is basically a white-coated lemur-like orphan (due to “falling” victim to: a falling accident), and is adopted by a creature named: “Naru” (resembling a: “Sasquatch”). The nemesis appears to be a giant owl (named: “Kuro”), and there’s an ancient tree “spirit”, which requires: triad elemental restoration (because the land was: devastated; torn asunder).

The reason for why the owl is hostile is because: a blinding flash of light killed off its… Recently hatched owl offspring. The owl mother decides to whisk away "Sein" (located at - the apex of the: Spirit Tree), which in turn adversely affects: the wood’s overall balance (largely because: Sein served a double function, by - playing the role as: 1 of the 3 coveted “bastion watch guard” elements).

P.S. These 3 elements include: water, wind & warmth. Ori’s surrogate “foster” parent dies from: lack of resource access (esp. to: water). That’s when Ori is given forced, last resort incentive to: roam around, unabated. Meets a side character along the way (i.e., “Gumo”), who is – the sole survivor of... The spider-ish “Gumon Clan” (who worship the element of: wind).

After gathering up the 3 dispersed elements again, Gumo performs an ancient clan ritual (albeit with the aid of: "sacred" treasure... Perhaps a: family heirloom?), in an attempt to: restore the decrepit tree. In an odd turn of events: the Owl selflessly rescues Ori & Sein, after a volcanic eruption ensues, leaking away from: “Mount Horu” - then, it engulfs the: lower portion (of the: forest).

Naru shows pity for an unconscious version of Ori, which in turn triggers the owl (i.e., Kuro) to: grieve over lost kin. Fire steadily approaches the last egg, but Kuro returns Sein to his former position, at the – Spirit Tree (which in turn emits a bright flash of light & restores the ailing forest, but destroys the giant owl Kuro, in the process). During the conclusion: Ori stays with the Spirit Tree (and its “ilk”); Gumo & Naru re-unite, and the deceased owl Kuro, has its final egg transported to: Naru’s home (where it: subsequently hatches).

Granted, there's more substance/non-verbal drama that ensues besides that, but I’d rather not bore you with: “devilish details”.

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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Student General Artist
P.S.A.: annual summer west coast trade-show "E.3." (i.e., Electronic Entertainment Expo) is lurking "just around the corner"! It's 1 of those rare events that has lots of potential, to help assuage the monotony of: daily routine... Does anyone else plan on "streaming" it live (say, after bookmarking a media outlet?), or else made hotel reservations, in an effort to prepare in advance for: attending the event in person (if only due to possessing: industry insider status)? Either way - what "alpha/beta W.I.P.s" excite you the most this year, and why?

For me personally, it has to be "M.G.S.V.: The Phantom Pain", though I can't help but feel rended by secretive projects (on indefinite hiatus?), like: "The Last Guardian"... I guess "the time wasn't ripe to spill the beans" (as also evidenced by Nintendo's refusal to unveil a new "line" of hardware? Though certain 'sites covering V.G.-related news claim that: the "Big N" is reviving world "champs" this year, after 25 years worth of cancellation...).

Even so, I intend to spectate regardless of whether reveals are deemed predictable or not, as it technically counts as a form of "edutainment" (not to mention: the practical antithesis of a news "drought"; or temporary relief from a dry "spell", at any rate). Hope to see you charismatic "hotshots repping" us there, doing us proud! *wink*

Corp. schedule stage presentations (including dates & hours). P.S. "Booking" imminent, for slots still empty.
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Obscure-catharsis Featured By Owner Edited May 4, 2015  Student General Artist

P.S. The following except was derived from the site linked above; the  quoted contained below consists of views expressed by & attributed to 1/4 feedback testers:

[sic] "Deep and long story, tough enough difficulty and highly user-friendly systems remind of old RPGs in a good way. The huge open world is packed with a countless number of stories and it will require time and effort to tackle them properly. Pilotable Dolls are irresistible gems for people who like robots, as there are plenty of customization elements and you can dynamically transform the vehicle. There is much to do, and while it may feel tiresome, you’ll get a sense of accomplishment."

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